There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. [Galatians 3:28, NRSV]
I have always found this to be one of the most powerful statements Paul ever made, considering the time he lived in. There were many inequalities that existed between the three pairings of people Paul lists here: Jews looked down upon the Greeks and saw them as heathens who had little respect for God. Slave owners treated their slaves as little more than property to be managed and exploited. Men held all the cards in Paul's day and age and women had little, if any, rights.
What Paul is saying is that Jesus brought with him a new way of ordering the world where all the hierarchical structures were torn down and everyone had an equal place at the table. This was radical stuff in his day and it is still radical stuff in ours. The Body of Christ is not supposed to be a place where we are climbing Jacob's moral ladder, each rung taking us higher and higher; it is a place where we are dancing Sarah's circle and everyone is welcome to join us in the dance.
If you doubt this is still a revolutionary teaching, consider a few more pairings that we could add to Paul's list: There is no gay or straight, trans or bi, Republican or Democrat, pretty or ugly, liberal or conservative, supermodel or geek, illegal immigrant or native born, Occupy Wall Street or Tea Party, butch or fem, for all of us are one in Christ.
3 comments:
Hi. First I'd like to thank you for having this blog and sharing your posts, secondly I’d like to apologize in advance for how rambly/wordy this comment is going to be. I'm a Fiction major, and I love to write, but oddly enough when it comes to non-fiction/autobiographical or self-experiences, I seem to be reduced to something less put together, lol. And I have a lot of questions. By the way, I’m also from North Carolina, so I'm extremely happy to see that you at least live here too, and I can't help but feel as though God wanted me to find this.
I've been someone who has struggled with the idea for a “need” of identity for a long time—it was probably six or seven years ago (i'm 20 now) when I actually realized that this was a “thing” to be dealt with, but even before that as a kid I sort of ambled through life without an idea of gender or sexuality. People seemed to realize I was different way before I did—whether it was the way I spoke or acted, they saw something it took me years to piece together. Of course I denied this, sincerely believing that if I didn't know, they didn't or couldn't either. But I suppose in hindsight it made sense, which is why for me it's very hard to understand why people could ever believe that things like sexuality are a choice—because, I was mixing parts of gender roles and having these “unusual” feelings or thoughts before I was even aware of sex. I didn't—and, even today, find myself doing this to an extent—identify people as “boy” or “girl”, with vastly different experiences and points of view, but as just people.
Anyway, I really related to what I read about your experience, specifically: “I prayed to Jesus exhaustively for about ten years to change my sexual orientation. No one could have prayed more fervently and honesty. All I received was silence on God’s part and a lot of self loathing.” While I by no means prayed to such an extent, I did lay in bed and have dreadfully long conversations out loud about all of this to God over the course of several years (Silent prayer has always been a little awkward for me, I feel much more valid/authentic/focused in actual speaking, lol) and received the same silence. But I remember being okay with it? In some way, I was okay with God knowing that I wasn't straight (what exactly I am I don't know, but for the sake of ease I consider myself Bi). While the silence wasn't what I wanted, felt no rejection or shame coming from him, which is something I expected or believed I would feel if it was there.
The self loathing and desire to change definitely came, though, regardless of my rationalization that God was okay with who I was. I still hated myself for a long time (but to be fair, this wasn't exclusively because of sexual identity, I’ve always had trouble with self-validation/social anxiety) because my family is largely old-fashioned and conservative. We're Episcopal, and I have to admit I love the Episcopal church—it's hard to imagine me leaving it for another. I find the services and music beautiful. But both of my parents grew up in a small town setting, and both are largely close minded and judgmental, and come with expectations like anyone's parents would. Then of course there's my grandmother's expectations, lol. (tbc--word limits, blah.)
(cont'd)
I love them, there's no mistaking this, and they aren't abrasive people—just because they disagree doesn't mean they'll be ugly towards you. It's an insular thing, I guess? There's a set standard for the family that other people aren't held to. But I'm exposed to it—part of it, being on the inside of the family, and it hurts my feelings to sit there quietly and just let it happen. I'm pretty sure it has driven a wedge between me and the rest of my family over the years. Like, if a movie pops up on the TV one of the first things my mom will comment on is that “he's gay”, or, we'll get to a certain part in a movie we've watched a million times, and sure enough she'll say it again “he's gay in real life.”
My past self-loathing and present anxiety comes from the mold I’m supposed to fit into as a member of this family. What if I don't want children? (I'm the only son, and they expect a continued namesake). Or don't have any because I find a male partner? How is that even an option when bi-racial coupling is still an issue in my family? I don't date, I’m near phobic of it and I don't entirely know why. I get so frustrated and fearful and doubtful that the love they have for me is conditional. I feel horrible about seeing our relationship as something that would fail if they knew me better. I don't want to doubt their love, but I can't bring myself to trust them in handling this situation well. Losing them isn't something I’m ready for, either. I don't like having the mindset that it's only a matter of time before this road ends and I have to break away, but that's something I’ve emotionally prepared for these past few years in the distancing that has happened.
Although I have grown a lot more secure, there are still times when I think I’m crazy or misguided or making excuses (hence why I googled to find this). I really care about religion and philosophy, and find them interesting/valuable, and I believe in God and an afterlife and the soul—so, obviously these things are precious to me and it can be troubling to consider that I could be doing something wrong. ( I mean, I get we're all imperfect, but you know.) I have no problems admitting that I am unsure about a lot of things, and I don't like it when people are afraid to ask questions and challenge their own faiths—I feel like that's the point? Necessary for growth, understanding, and such. But I am really thankful for a lot of the posts you've uploaded here, providing context and word analysis around scriptures that are often used against homosexuals. I needed that, and I hope in the eventual future (as it is inevitable) to use them as a tool to possibly bridge whatever gap or wake will come of my coming out to my family.
A few days ago a friend of mine came out to me via Skype, and I returned the favor by telling him about my own situation—it's a small step? It came rather easy, as I’ve found that I really am comfortable with myself at this point. It's my family's opinion I really care about, not so much anyone else's. I realize none of this...was really a question, I might write some of those later, but I just really wanted to share to someone that has a better grip on all of this, as I am not well read in scripture and historical context.
Thanks.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. Hopefully you'll find some encouragement in these pages and reflections of mine. Know you're loved by God and you're not alone out there. My prayers and blessings are with you.
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